Writing 101, Day Eight: Death to Adverbs
Go to a public location and make a detailed report of what you see.
The twist of the day? Write the post without adverbs.
the people here are zoned. they’re pushing their buggies when a hand basket would do the trick in a nice way. i find myself weaving in and out of gawkers. they’re using the same set of muscles as when they gawk at a car wreck. the hogging of the aisle makes me think there might be a buggie crash any moment.
who goes to a grocery store to look around and explore like it’s a leisure trip? “buy your crap and leave.” that’s what i want to shout.
there’s a sale on Pomegranate Limeade. a 64oz bottle for $2.69. No, wait a sec… that’s the everyday price. the people working are friendly and i dig the tropical shirts and birkenstocks. i’m surprised npr isn’t playing instead of the 90’s muzak i hear. this place is crowded and i hate being here. it takes me forever to reach the cheese section that is stocked with every type of cheese imaginable.
the wine section is easy to get to but the selection is poor. the freezer section is a single isle with coolers on each side. stocked and crowded are the products there. tj’s does make use of every available inch, however. the shelf above the cooler is brimming with coffees, treats, and odd condiments.
checkout is both efficient and a cluster much to my surprise. there are no lane dividers on the floor yet people seem to navigate the congestion up to the registers. makes one wonder why these same people, when put behind the wheels of their cars, can’t 4-way-stop themselves out of a paper bag.
a sharp and left turn to exit the store and i’m outside once again. the fun continues as i still need to egress the parking lot. this takes longer than it should; these are the same people who piloted the buggies inside, after all. the lot is packed with bmw’s and benz’s. red, blue, silver, white, and black, most cars are one of these colors. an inordinate amount of these owners spend more in car payments than they do in rent. i’ve seen the prices of both homes and cars in the area, it’s not a stretch to figure out. i suppose that’s the car culture of this metro area. i’ve done it and i’m free. right turn out of the lot and on my way home.
and that’s what it is folks, the experience i call, the fool’s ballet.